Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
