____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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