You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
