She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
