I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize