So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
