i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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