A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
