He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
