We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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