Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
