k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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