I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
