Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
