Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
