YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
