ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
