Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
