mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
