Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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