well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
