YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The uberlube is also flammable
I am available for nakedness
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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