Porn is love you can see.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
