I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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