i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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