he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
