Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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