New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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