The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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