im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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