i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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