Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
