even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
