I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You're like the curious george of whores
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
