i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Mom said you looked used
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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