the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
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If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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