she was so not down for the gang bang
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
