Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
