even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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