God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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