her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
