I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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