I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
