Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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