What did we do last night that was yellow?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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