I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
