she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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