he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
