My pussy is not your playground.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
did i walk over a car last night?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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