Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you will always have a special place in my vag
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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