Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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