Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.