He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
