He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
