I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
