Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
