walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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