nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
