It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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