dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize