I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
time to smoke my breakfast
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
