Do you still have your period?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
