there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
