she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dignity is for republicans.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
