it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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