Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I wish you could order shots online.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
