The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
